NEEDING TO SEE A FRIEND EVEN IF FOR ONE DAY

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  I know this topic applied to just about if not everyone now. As of late I have really been starting to feel the pressure on me. Some days really feel the tension running through my body, also sometimes I really feel trapped both mentally and physically. 

 So many of my friends i know are actually dealing with this so much better, they seem so much stronger. I actually feel weak and depressed so many days lately especially lately. I wonder to myself where they find the awesome strength they have. 

 Because of my out going nature bring trapped within four walls has never been good for me. It truly screws with my mind on different levels. I'm the type of person who needs to get out have fun. Sure zoom parties are cool just not the same as the real social interaction.  The past while has been catching up with me and playing yo yo with my epilepsy on some levels for sure. 

 I'm also feeling the anxiety hit me and that is playing hard with heart. Not in its usual bad way fortunately just the anxiety I can feel around the heart. Its the only way I can describe it

 The depression can kick in at anytime, especially when 24/7 i have to listen to mom and dad and my small space feels even smaller. I go and shut out the world at times or will only let certain people in. Different people I'm surprised have been coming to mind, then after few hours they pass. I love all my friends who are here supporting me and making me feel better when I need it.

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